If you've never taken the 3 minute Love Language Test, I would recommend you take it right here, right now. Ry and I took it on our last Sunday Rally and it sparked such great conversation.
It is a test that lets you learn what your partners love language is, and how they rank the 5 love languages from most important to least. It has been a super valuable resource for Ry and I, and I would suggest taking it with your partner every year. Every year we change and evolve and so do our love languages. If we want to love our partners right, then we need to love them the way they want to be loved and the best way to do that is to find out what their number one love language is!
Ry's top result was physical touch, which could be anything from a pat on the back, to hand holding, kissing and more. My top result was acts of service (especially of the romantic kind!). It means a whole lot to me when Ry goes out of his way to do something for me whether it is something romantic like writing me a little note and leaving it in my lunch, or starting dinner before I get home because he knows I've had a long day. Interestingly enough, physical touch was on the bottom of my list and acts of service was on the bottom of Ry's list. It makes so much sense now that Ry is always extremely affectionate with me, and I am always trying to do little extra things for him and while we both mean the best by doing this, we aren't doing what the other person needs to be loved. I need to be a lot more affectionate, and Ry needs to start doing more little acts of service for me. We are already happy in our marriage and can't even imagine just how happy we will be once we start really focusing on what the other person needs through love languages.
This test doesn't just apply to romantic partners, it's also great to know for anyone you have a relationship with! My Mum's love language is words of affirmation so I make sure I compliment her a lot on her achievements, and on the little things. I always say thank you for anything she does, and I make sure I text her every now and again telling her just how special she is to me because I know that this is how she feels loved the best.
With the holidays just around the corner asking your relatives and friends to take a few moments to take the test could also let you in on some great last minute gift ideas for them. Here are some ideas of what you could do for each of the love languages:
Words of Affirmation:
Write them a letter telling them how you feel about them, or about all the memories you've shared in the past year.
Plan a get together, an outing or a party to celebrate this person! Take them out to dinner and a movie, or plan a fun activity to do together. My sister and I often have 'girly-days' as our Christmas gift where we get to just spend uninterrupted quality time together.
A spa gift card would be great for someone who's love language is physical touch!
Acts of Service:
A coupon book offering them lots of little acts of service would be great for someone who has this as their top love language. Things like cooking them dinner, washing their car, taking their dog for a walk, and helping them clean out their garage are all things they would appreciate!
A little physical token of your affection for this person would go a long way. Get them something little that is consumable or useful. I always think gifting a 2017 journal is such a lovely gift for both men and women, and you can always make it a little sentimental by adding an entry on the first page for them!
What is your love language?